Movie Reviews: Year Archives
1985 Releases
Police Story
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Poor Jackie Chan. He works so hard to gain our love and approval, our applause and accolades. He risks life and limb, doing stunts that make normal men faint at the mere thought of doing it themselves - breaking bones and doing insane comedic stunts all to make us laugh in awe and wonder. And yet he consistently gets laughed at, his movies get panned by “serious” film critics, and people always smirk and/or grimace when you suggest renting one of his movies.
But to be honest, I can see where they’re coming from. If you get the right Jackie Chan movie, like Drunken Master 2 or Supercop, it’s a wonderful way to spend a couple of hours. Jackie is like a human slinky, getting in and out of predicaments without breaking a sweat, taking on dozens of opponents with no more that his fancy footwork and a few handy props. But if you get the wrong Jackie Chan movie, even diehard fans will be wincing before it’s halfway over. Police Force is somewhere between the two extremes. It contains some of Jackie’s most insane stunts and martial artistry. But it also contains plenty of cheese and schlock.
Jackie plays a police officer named Kevin Chan. Assigned to capture a drug dealer named Ku, he starts the movie off with a bang - a downhill carchase through a housing development. In the process, he captures Ku’s secretary, Selena (Brigitte Lin). The twist comes when he is assigned to protect Selena before she is called to witness in Ku’s trial. Of course, Ku can’t have that so he sends his thugs to dispatch Lin. On top of that, Kevin must deal with his girlfriend, May (Maggie Cheung), who is not to pleased at the idea of Kevin watching over Selena. Of course, Jackie hams it up for the camera, getting into embarrassing situations and generally making a fool of himself in the process.
However, the movie’s final third takes a darker twist when Kevin is accused of killing a fellow officer. Wanted by both the police and Ku’s men, the movie escalates until the final confrontation in a shopping mall. Now, let me just say this: if you’re watching Police Story and start to get a little frustrated, just be patient because you shall be rewarded. The fight in the shopping mall gets extremely vicious. Jackie’s comedic persona disappears and it becomes an all-out brawl, complete with Jackie’s trademark stuntwork.
There are several scenes that just make me wince. Watching Jackie fall over balcony, crash through a wooden lattice, and hit the concrete floor (I even think he bounces) is painful to watch. But to watch him get up and shrug it off… I tip my hat to the man. This is Jackie at his finest, doing things that ordinary people like you and me would never dream of doing. Just be patient, my friend. Police Force can be painful to watch at times, especially if you’re not used to Jackie’s humor. But just be patient, because Jackie makes it all worthwhile in the end. And noone, not even his biggest detractors, can contest that.
Tampopo
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So I’m surrounded by junk food (chocolates, crackers, pizza, and plenty of Hawaiian punch). Really, what else would I be eating at a movie marathon? But then I have to make it through a movie like Tampopo, a movie that’s as much for the palate as it is for the eyes, and I’m suddenly hungry for a good bowl of noodles.
Set in and around the Lai Lai Noodle Shop, the movie follows a woman named Tampopo and her quest to be the greatest noodle chef in the land. She’s an excellent chef, but her noodle recipe is lacking. Aided by a cowboy trucker named Goro (who looks like the Japanese version of John Wayne, complete with swagger) and various companions (an interior designer, the cuisinary master of a group of beggars), she carefully studies the art of noodle-making.
But that’s just one story. In reality, the movie is a celebration of all things food-related. It constantly breaks away from Tampopo’s plight, plunging into very loosely connected scenes that all revolve around food in one way or another. There’s the old lady who likes to squeeze fruit, the man who commands his dying wife to cook dinner for her family so they’ll have one last meal together, and the couple whose enjoyment of food goes way beyond mere nutrition (if you know what I mean).
Sometimes these stories eventually dovetail back into the main plot, but usually they don’t, adding flavor and spice to an already flavorful movie. That’s not to say they’re all good and interesting. Some, such as the man with the abcess in his mouth, don’t really have anything to do with the movie at all. And personally, I could do without the food festish couple (especially the oyster/bleeding mouth scene).
But in hindsight, I guess the whole movie is about the fetish that people have for eating. It looks at all of the ways that something as necessary as food can hold such importance in people’s lives and culture (the movie opens with the scene of a master explaining the proper way to eat a bowl of noodles, right down to the last minute detail). It’s a safe bet that you’ll never look at those ramen noodles you ate in college the same way. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get some takeout.
Vampire Hunter D
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Vampire Hunter D is set in the year 12,090 AD. It’s been several thousand years since a nuclear war ravaged the earth, and humanity has been reduced to a ragtag bunch of survivors dominated by “nobles”, vampires who look down on humans as cattle. Doris Lang, our virtuous young heroine, has been bitten by the Count Magnus Lee, a 10,000 year old vampire whose only escape from his boring existence is capturing and bedding young women. Enter D, our dark enigmatic hero, a powerful vampire hunter who is hired by Doris to protect her and her brother Dan from the Count and his evil forces. But D has a darker past; he’s a half-vampire, and has incredible powers. Doris finds herself falling in love with D, and D must fight his vampiric side and the Count’s minions to save her.
In my opinion, that’s a pretty darn good premise for a movie. You’ve got a good foundation for plenty of action, lots of good material for storytelling, and even a bit of unrequited love. Unfortunately, Vampire Hunter D just doesn’t really pull any of it off. It’s got plenty of action, and some of it is pretty bloody, but it’s not particularly thrilling. If you want to see good anime action, watch Ninja Scroll. The story is pretty interesting, but unfortunately, you have to sit through atrocious dubbing and melodramatic dialog. And just when you think that the love between Doris and D is going to remain unsaid, she throws herself at him - fresh from the shower, I might add - and we get to see a tender moment when he struggles to suppress his vampiric urges.
In some circles, Vampire Hunter D is a cult anime hit. You’ll find plenty of websites devoted to proclaiming its merits. However, compared to much of the anime coming out today, it seems pallid and stale. For starters, the animation isn’t all that great, and gets downright atrocious at times. The characters are poorly drawn and look like every other anime character you’ve ever seen, which is a shame considering that Yoshitako Amano’s original sketches are simply gorgeous. The only good animated sequence occurs at the very end, but overall, I haven’t seen animation this bad this side of M.D. Geist (another anime with lots of unrealized potential).
I wouldn’t mind seeing a subtitled version of this, because my major beef with the movie is the dialog and dubbing. The dialog is cliched and formulaic, especially the scene when D and Dan have a heartfelt, man to man talk. The aforementioned scene between D and Doris could be good, even a little moving, but it’s ruined when Doris cries like a little girl and begs D to run away with her to some place far, far away. And when it comes to the dubbing, where should I begin? How about those wonderful “Transylvanian” accents of the vampire nobles? Or the fact that Dan, a young boy, is voiced either by a young girl or a very effeminate man?
The only real highlight of the movie is D. He’s like a character from a Sergio Leone western, if it was set in the year 12,090 and there were vampires. He doesn’t say much, half of his face is always in shadow, and he carries a big sword that he’s not afraid to use. And the real kick is D’s left hand. Picture Thing from The Addams Family, but with a face, a biting sense of humor, and a huge appetite, and you get the picture. His little verbal jabs at D is the best dialog in the entire film, and one of the only good dubbing jobs.
All in all, it’s really sad, because the concepts behind the movie (which is based on a popular series of Japanese novels) are really cool. The movie had a lot of potential, but seems to be more interested in showing us lots of decapitations, disembowlings, and women in skimpy outfits.
Urban Vision, the distributor of the original Vampire Hunter D, is releasing a new version of the movie this year. From what I’ve seen, the look of the film is vastly improved, as is the animation quality. It has that cool gothic/atmospheric vibe that is desperately missing from so much of this film. I just hope that the quality and depth of the story matches the visuals. If it does, the new version of Vampire Hunter D will be everything the original wasn’t but could’ve - and should’ve - been.