No Country For Old Men

by Ethan & Joel Coen (2007, United States)

I suppose that, had I seen No Country For Old Men on any other day, its unrelenting bleakness would have seemed unnecessarily maudlin—or even worse, comically absurd. But just a few hours before my wife and I walked into the theatre, we read news stories about two shootings in Colorado that ultimately left four people dead. And just a few days earlier, a troubled young man walked into a posh shopping center in my old hometown of Omaha and killed eight people before turning the gun on himself.

Suddenly, No Country For Old Men‘s vision of humanity caught in the clutches of an unstoppable and incomprehensible evil that leaves its few survivors—if you can call them that—reeling and shocked seemed less absurd and all too real. The world depicted on the silver screen looked a little too much like the world I’d left outside the theatre walls.

The latest film from the Coen Brothers—adapted from Cormac McCarthy’s acclaimed novel—bears many similarities to their previous films. There’s that ear for quirky dialog, the obvious love for characters’ idiosyncrasies, and the brief flashes of absurdist humor. But those are merely on the surface. Arguably, they’ve never done anything this unremittingly bleak. Not even Fargo with its wood chipper wanders this far into the wasteland.

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The Proposition

by John Hillcoat (2005, Australia)

A western set in the outback of Australia in the late 19th century, The Proposition is a stark, violent, blood-soaked film that hearkens back to the finest Clint Eastwood westerns.  Guy Pearce—who, with his long straggly hair, stubble, and cigarette, even looks like the Man With No Name—plays Charlie Burns, whose outlaw family has become legendary in the country for their bloodthirsty ways.

When he’s captured by the military along with his younger brother, he’s given a second chance.  He has 9 days to dring back his older brother Arthur, the head of the gang and mastermind of their violence.  If he doesn’t, his younger brother will be hung on Christmas Day.

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Tears Of The Black Tiger

by Wisit Sasanatieng (2000, Thailand)

Attention cult film fans: you have a new Holy Grail.  The film is called Tears Of The Black Tiger and you must seek it out wherever it may be. Director/writer Wisit Sasanatieng’s first and thus far only film, Tears Of The Black Tiger, is a dizzying, delirious experience in pure camp cinema, one that would undoubtedly be a major international smash had it come from just about any film-producing country other than Thailand.  Thailand has been the overlooked distant relative in the Asian film world for years, and though the rise of the incredibly talented Pang brothers has brought the country some much deserved attention, it may have come too late for films like Tears Of The Black Tiger.

So what is this thing and why get so excited?  Part parody and part serious homage, Tears Of The Black Tiger is a film completely out of time and place, something completely and totally unexpected from Asian cinema: a 40’s era cowboy melodrama shot in glorious Technicolor, or, in this case, a no-name Technicolor substitute.  Tears Of The Black Tiger tells the story of Dum, a young peasant boy who falls in love with Rumpoey, the daughter of the local governor.

The two want to be married but can’t due to social circumstances. Dum vows to make himself worthy of Rumpoey and make her his own and heads off to find his fortune.  He falls in with a group of gangsters and eventually becomes the right-hand man in the gang, known to all as the Black Tiger, feared fastest gun in the land.  Back in Bangkok, Rumpoey eventually abandons hope of ever hearing from Dum again and allows herself to be pressured into an engagement with a local police captain determined to bring down Dum’s gang.  Will the lovers ever be reunited?

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South Of Heaven, West Of Hell

by (2000, United States)

They say never judge a book by its cover, but let’s add movies to that old cliché, too.  A movie cover that entails a dusty photograph of evil-looking horsemen and the title South Of Heaven, West Of Hell should prove to be a timeless classic in the western genre.  However, that’s where I made my first mistake.  Ok, so it was the name Paul Reubens and a picture of him as a cowboy that struck me first as I glanced at the cover, but the title gave the impression that all hell would break loose when I slipped the VHS into the player.  The names Billy Bob Thornton, Vincent Vaughn, and Dwight Yoakam brought even more wideness to my eyes, and I knew right then that I must watch this movie.  That was my next mistake.

Another mistake was to assume that the soundtrack would be somewhat similar to the typical southwestern flair ever present on Yoakam’s albums. There was only one instance where I found the music to be remotely appropriate for the movie.  The music was as out of place as the Caribbean sounds heard on True Romance.  The closing credits - occurring after a very sub-par shootout - were actually set to a torn up, jazzy tune.  What happened to hard-ass songs like “Buenos Noches” from “A Lonely Room” or the old classic guitarwork of spaghetti westerns?  But at least the music was not as bad as Yoakam’s directing.

Let me say one thing first.  I am a fan of Dwight Yoakam’s music and admire him for becoming a director and shooting a western.  He’s even a pretty decent actor.  However, his sole purpose for creating this movie must have only been to make out with gorgeous women.  Let’s face it; Yoakam isn’t going to give Brad Pitt a run for his money as the sexiest man of the year, but when you’re starring in your own movie, you’re going get lucky. I as a consumer do not want to watch Yoakam make out with Bridget Fonda in a hot air balloon next to her deaf sister.  Nor do I want to watch him sensually stick his finger into a cherry pie some floozy baked for him.  I have my limits.

If I had to sum up the movie in one sentence, I would describe it as a “PBS western directed by Quentin Tarantino as a soap opera”.  It was as dry as the desert they shot it in and slathered with dull dialogue that really had no impact on the movie.  It would have been more enjoyable if Dwight had picked up a guitar and sang as in some 60’s Elvis flick. The movie was definitely gruesome and never short of the f-bomb, but there was nothing offending about the pathetic fight scenes.  The shootouts were no more realistic than a reenactment I watched last spring in an Arizona ghost town.

The movie did have its moments, if you’re one of those that enjoys watching the occasional Faces Of Death flick.  Maybe it was the man who stepped in a month-old “shithole” or the scene where a cowboy has one of his testicles removed and dropped in a bucket.  No wait, it was the guy “getting his nut off” in the jail cell… or was it Pee Wee Herman trying to rape Sheriff Yoakam’s lady?  I can’t remember which was the most repulsive, but they all set off my gag reflex.  The scenes were definitely original and disgustingly comical, but the energy used to create them should have been saved for shootouts, or just about anything else.  At least give me something to savor other than blood discharging from a man’s crotch.

Written by Nolan Shigley.

The Outlaw Josey Wales

by (1976, United States)

“Revengeful badass”.  These words are commonly used to describe Clint Eastwood’s character in an array of movies, but never have they been placed so fittingly as in this one.  Alright, so the number of vengeful cowboys in westerns is countless, but Josey Wales brings a harder edge to the whiskey.  His reasons for revenge are just as common. His family was murdered, his house burnt to the ground, and his pride fell with him as Union soldiers rode around the blaze. Fortunately for the viewer, they picked the wrong Missouri farmer to piss off.  With a heart set to kill those that terrorized him and any who happen to interfere, the movie is loaded with six gun shootouts, as Wales spits tobacco juice upon each victims’ unlucky forehead.  The flick contains every aspect of a classic western and makes one wonder if The Outlaw Josey Wales is the greatest western ever made.

It seems as if the great Sergio Leone (patented the spaghetti western) or even John Ford may never have succeeded the westerns created by Clint Eastwood.  However, if I were to direct a movie I also starred in, my badass quotient would be pretty high, too.  Eastwood definitely gave more control over situations to his characters and created them more mysteriously (a la Pale Rider).  The way Josey Wales keeps to himself and internally battles good and evil as he picks up lively characters along the way shows more complexity than the typical unknown gunslinger.

Though he takes lives easily throughout the film, he also gives life to characters.  Lone Watie (George) is the most colorful of these and provides the film with its most disturbing scene; an old man making love to a young woman.  Lone Watie, an old Apache still trying to defend his land, brings humor to the film, but in a respectful way for Native Americans, as Eastwood usually makes sure of in his movies.  The meeting with Ten Bears and Wales also shows the respect for Indians that many of Eastwood’s characters portrayed and adds to the quotient.  “I’m here to either live with you or die with you,” Wales tells the war chief, summing up his view of life. 

What is a western without a love story?  Probably a better one… The Outlaw’s heart is put to the flame when he meets Laura Lee (Locke), saving her from the raping and pillaging that upset her family’s camp. Laura Lee softens the callous heart of Josey and reveals a bit of it, since seeking revenge seems to empty more than fill.  However, it’s evident she hasn’t totally softened the man.  She sits by the fire telling Wales of all the different suns in Kansas, and he gives the ultimate putdown; “I always heard there were three types of suns in Kansas; sunflowers, sunshine, and sons of bitches”.  I tend to watch Eastwood’s movies for moments such as this.

Though the Outlaw realizes his life must return to some normalcy in the heat of his revenge, the bullets he puts in those hunting him are priceless.  There may be just as many one-liners as bullets, too.  As he comes face to face with a bounty hunter in a saloon, the gunman tells Wales that a man has to make his living some how.  The Outlaw replies with, “Dying ain’t much of a living,” and then proceeds to drill holes in the predator turned prey.

A revengeful cowboy may not be the most original of plots, but the gratuitous violence, various characters, and awkward dialogue provide the mixture for a classic.  Released in 1976, it has certain advantages over those released prior, and shows up any westerns released later on.

Written by Nolan Shigley.